i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
