Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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