I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
