My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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