i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
