i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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