i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
