then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
another moral hangover. fuck.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize