summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
