My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
