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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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