Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
