everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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