if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
