His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
