It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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