At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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