He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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