Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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