you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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