does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
