I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
