Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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