real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
