Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
