Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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