I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
