this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
