so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
