I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
