As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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