were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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