My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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