You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
