i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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