saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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