plz talk dirty to me
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
