I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He felt like a one man threesome
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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