she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I AM VODKA MAN
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
