The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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