I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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