so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
