I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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