I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
