Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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