omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize