Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
