By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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