u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
