worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
