You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
