Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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