hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
