So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize