dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
