how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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