I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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