Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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