I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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