NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
