just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
